Diary Day Two - Living in a Homeless Shelter

Again I have decided to start this blog by giving you a little insight into our family. Today, I will start with how we were treated by local Councils when we approached them with our situation.

After coming to the envitable decision, which was not easy because we could have continued to have my parents help us with our rent but we are not willing to go through life like that. You have to stand on your own two feet, at least then decisions make regarding your family
cannot affect anyone else but you!

So after making my mother-in-law aware of everything what had happened (no-one knew apart from my parents until January this year) we did what Epping Forest Council advised us to do and approached the other 2 Council in the area.

Technically the law states that you that you can make an homeless application to any Council in the Country, but as we were soon to find out this was not the case.

First we approached Broxbourne Borough Council - Steve was brought up in Waltham Cross which is a part of this Borough and until their deaths' both Steve's mum and dad lived in the Borough. So off we go, armed with all the information we needed and a completed application to go on the housing list (which was our first aim) we arrive at the offices in Cheshunt.

On approaching the reception and explaining we would like to put an application form to go on the housing list forward and then arrange an appointment for a homeless application.

We were abruptly asked "Well, do you live in the Borough?"
Answer "No"
Question "Do you have family in the Borough?"
Answer "Yes, my grandfather lives in Hoddesdon"
Reply"Doesn't count"
Answer"Oh, my step mum (who was with us) and step sisters live in Hoddesdon as well"
Reply "Doesn't count, she isn't on your birth certificate is she"
Answer "Obviously No, she is my step mum, but my dad lived in the Borough until his death in October 2008"
Reply "Doesn't count, it has to be a living relative, don't you have any brothers or sisters in the Borough?"
Reply "My brother lives in Derby, there is no-one esle"
Reply "Well you can approach Derbyshire County Council and go on their list as you have direct blood relation living there"
Our answer "We don't want to go and live in Derby"
Reply "Well, you don't make the requirements to go on our list you need at least 400 points from local connections in the Borough to even get on the list"
Our answer "So you won't take our application?"
Reply "No, its a waste of time"


Shocked and in tears we left. You were made to feel that any local connections you had were ilrelevant and because your parents are dead you had no rights to approach the Borough.

So off we went, to East Herts they were very approachable who gave us an appointment to discuss our Homeless Application and we left with an application form to go on the housing list and a list of paperwork required for the appointment.

A couple of days later we returned for our appointment, until 5 months prior we lived in the East Herts County and Steve also works in the County so this we were told this would go in our favor. Again this was ill-advised information by Councils.


We were informed that they would accept our application but as we declared ourselves bankrupt, although we were advised to, as it was better way of approaching the issue, we could be preserved as making ourselves homeless as we willingly gave the money from the sale of our home over.

Next we were informed that we would have no choice but to stay in our current property, even though the owner wanted to move back in, we had to wait until we were issued with an eviction notice and the baliffs were knocking on the door. Although we tried to explain, that we understood this policy, but due to the bankruptcy this would just make things impossible for us if we were to get back on our feet, as it would mean with the bankrutpcy and an eviction notice no one would every privately rent to us again. It was irrelevant!

Finally, we were told that being in a Homeless Shelter is not a bed of roses you could be in there for a couple of years before you were given a home and the cost was approximately £200 a week and the likelihood of us being declared homeless by the County was slim.

Obviously we did think living in a Homeless Shelter was a bed of roses and it was the final place we wanted to be, hence why we did not want to go down the eviction avenue, as we still wanted to get back on our feet and get a privately rented property ourselves. This is still our aim if possible!

So again we came away feeling very rejected, disappointed and confused. We had not chosen to be in this situation, but now we felt that every door is slammed in your face and you are made to feel even the country you were born and raised in is not willing to help you, even when you are on your knees.

Of course, I blame myself for the situation we are in. If I had checked the hob properly that morning I would have realised that it had a very low flame on or if I had gone upstairs and checked that the tap was off the flood would not have happened, but I will live with those regrets for the rest of my life.

No else is to blame for our situation apart from me and no matter how many people tell me it is one of things or its happened to all us, but thankfully we were in house at the time, the pain will not leave me.

I beat myself up every day over this and it lives with me every waking hour, but I cannot turn back the clocks, so I just have to learn to deal with it some way before it eats me up inside!

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Monday, 13th April 2009

Oh what a night, Taylor woke up shortly after we got home and did not go to bed until god knows what time, she played on the Wii with us. Never mind, there is no school today.

But during the night Casey fell out of bed, missing all the cushions we had placed on the floor and hitting the floor with a very large THUD!!!! See the bed he is sleeping in, is a junior bed but is very high, but this is the first time he fell out of bed!

Very dazed we started the first round of musical beds (very popular game at the moment as the children are very unsettled). Taylor went into our bed, I went in her bed with Casey and Steve with Taylor. But for the first time ever, Casey did not want me he wanted 'Daddy', miracles do happen!. So I settled down for what I thought was going to be a lovely nights sleep.

Silly me! I was wrong! About an hour later, Casey shot up shouting 'Mummy' and in he ran with Pooh Bear (this is his favourite Bear, which he take everywhere) and jumps in bed with me. The rest of the night was spent with my nose pushed up against a wall and no room, god knows how someone so tiny can take up the whole bed, but he tosses and turns all night and finally its morning and very little sleep is achieved.

Looking at the clock we are surprised to discover it is 8.30am and we all climb into our bed in the living room and the children jump running like little bunnies. Some days we start the day with a little ditto and today is no different. So this falls on me. Not very good at this, but the children laugh and it gets them up this morning, so today's went like this.

A Mummy's job is never done, so let us go and have some fun

As the day breaks outside, its time for us to rise and shine

While my little one play outside, mummy is on hand for wiping the tears and running noses before tucking you back in bed tonight!

Told you I weren't very good, but I try!!

But out they jump running in the kitchen for the their cereal and toast!

The day starts as normal, breakfast, baths and get dressed. Even though we are not going anywhere today the children still wear respectable clothes and do not leave the chalet without being washed and having their hair brushed. It is very easy to slip in your ways in here, but we are very strict on this!

Off they go running over to the family across the way who have 3 little girls and a baby boy to see if they would like to play. Steve has been specific today, they cannot come in a play until the afternoon.

I wanted to do some work on the computer and some reading and also do a work-out of the Wii Fit. I am determined to lose all the weight I have gained during the last 2 years, I started to lose weight from having Casey, but when I developed Post-Natal Depression and the stress of everything else I am 4 stone heavier than I was before falling pregnant with Casey. So I am really trying now.

So the morning was all mapped out, until Steve decides to cook a brunch and suddenly the fire alarm goes off, everyone had to evacuted and stand in the car park, wouldn't mind there was hardly any smoke!

Anyway Taylor and Casey are screaming and Taylor is absolutely terrified even more when 2 fire engines turn up. Everything was cleared but they fireman had to wait around for the on-call warden to arrive to reset the alarm. Whilst waiting we were talking with the fireman and explaining why Taylor was frightened, but they took all the children and showed them the fire engine and we finally persuaded Taylor to go and they all sat in the fire engine, which was very exciting for of them.

Casey loved it and was going crazy, his favourite programme is 'Fireman Sam', so he was in his element.

Before the saga with the alarm, another disaster struck Casey fell down the stairs in the main building. The stairs are concrete in the main building and all the corridors are very clinical and makes you feel you are in a very old hospital or school. So he tumbles down 4 steps outside the playroom. Thankfully he is alright and soon as the word 'ball' was mentioned he was off and running again.

Finally we have brunch and the children come in and play on the Wii for a little while and play dress up, this means all Taylor's clothes are every where and the place is a complete mess.

Today they all play very nicely and as the day improves they go and play outside. They eventually go off with Steve and one of the other dad's into the forest to go treasure hunting with the metal detector.

The Shelter is situated on the outskirts of Epping Forest and behind the Chalets is a small wooded area which leads down to the old North Weald rail tracks which use to be the start of the Central Line many years ago. This section of the underground has been closed for many years now.

Later in the day, everyone is congregated outside having a drink whilst the children play, the main topic of conversation is 'what is for dinner?' this is espeically topical for people who are living in the main house as they are very restricted with only 2 rings and perhaps a fryer and mircowave.

Next topic of conversation is 'bidding for a place?' One family started bidding last week and you have from a Friday to following Wednesday when the window closes to bid on a place. You will then hear by the following Monday if you have been successful.

There is another family who can start bidding a week Friday and they are desperately hoping they are success straight away. The requirement is a large 3 bed or 4 bed which do not come up very often, but fingers crossed they will not have a problem.

The evening is now upon us and everyone goes inside to make dinner, ready for kids to go a bed. You may see people again later but very unlikely.

Whilst Steve cooks dinner I work on the Computer and Taylor uses the Wii Fit, she is very good at the Hula Hooping, especially as she is only 4 she does nearly as well as me! Shame on me!!

So as the evening draws in the children have been bathed again and are now tucke up in bed and Steve and I can sort of relax. Tonight we are going to start by waiting Criminal Minds on Surf the Channel, as we can only get limited television in the area we rely on the computer to watch television. This can be very frustrating as the connection in the area is not brillant and it keeps buffing, bu you become very patient when you have not much else to do.

Then we will spend some time on the Wii, time slips away from us when play the Wii you get so involved and Steve and I are very competitive!

See ya tomorrow