Thursday, 1 October 2009

The end of a our stay in a Homeless Shelter

Hi Everyone

Just a quick update. My husband and I have been very busy later, we won our first bid on a property back at the beginning of August and at the end of the month moved in to a lovely brand new 3 Semi Detached property in Loughton in Essex.

The house is lovely, although we have no carpets, curtains etc it does not matter, its ours and they will come in time.

The children are settled and my daughter has changed schools and is very happy.

We finally had something good happen to us. My carpel tunnel has started to settle us I have now lost 2 1/2 stones (35lbs) and its made such a different. Still going with the weight loss though, only half way there, but I will succeed.

Steve is working very long hours and I have started delivering leaflets to make some extra money. I am desperate to find work which allows me to work at home as its impossible for me to take on full employment of the home with the children and my husband shifts, so any genuine suggestions would be appreciated.

We went on holiday at the end of the month to Ibiza and had a lovely time. Taylor is still doing Gymnastics and is now training 4 hours a week, she is very dedicated.

Our time in the homeless shelter will never be forgotten, I think we also learnt alot and now appreciate the smaller things in life. I am no so careless with money and ensure we have enough money for the bills, food and essentials and if there is not enough for anything else, so be it! Never take anything for granted because you never know what is round the corner and it can be gone as quick as you get it!

Sadly our appreciation for the UK has declined, the working class of this country are worse off than people on the social and it is disgusting. Even now 3 families opposite us are on the social they have moved in at the weekend with very nice cars, taking out their new plasma TV from the boxes and Blu-ray. We will never be able to afford such luxuries!

But we are very happy and we have each other and we are a very happy family unit, as long as we can afford to live and have the things we need and a holiday we are happy.

We have only one vehicle now which my husband needs for work, so we gave the van back to my mum and I walk everywhere, so its good for your health and the children love exploring which they could not do before.

So has one chapter in our lives ends another begins, what the future begins us we don't know, but we have gone all the way down so there is only one way now and thats up, because I am never going back there again!

I will keep you posted and will update again soon

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

God knows how many days it has been now

Hi Everyone

Sorry I haven't written for a little while, I have Carpel Tunnel and awaiting surgery, but they are feeling good at the moment.

So I will start with an update.

We are still in the Homeless Shelter and have been now for 41/2 months, but next week, 7/17/09 we can start bidding, so fingers crossed.

A lot has happened since I last posted. Quick recap of the last weeks: -

  • My daughter, Taylor turned 5 years old and my husband had his 35th birthday
  • I went on an Internet Marketing Course, thanks to the Simon Coulson, a UK Internet Entreprenuer who gave me a free place, which was very interesting
  • I have joined a Slimming Club and have lost 14lbs in 4 weeks and still determined (not sure of the kilos conversion)
  • The family with 4 children have now moved out, as of today, so it will be quiet around here
The weather has been gorgeous here in the UK and we have taken advantage of having the forest behind us and taken the children on long walks and pinic which is great for family time (and weight lose!!!).

Finally got myself some work at home, 2 projects - one is to update a website for one of the father's who attend the gym to bring in more traffic to his site and the other is for someone who use to live in the Shelter and visits on a regular basis. He is just starting to sell an ebook on how to bring in different income sources, which is something he learnt after leaving the shelter and is now very wealthy. He has asked me to produce the Sales Letter, Website and develop the email to be sent to all his current customers for other products he sales and has offered me a percentage of the sales for managing it all for him. So very determined to make both of them to work.

Still looking at migrating to Australia, but it will be harder for us now Steve is 35, but we can still get State Sponsorship. So things are looking up and we will succeed.

Today we helped the family who have just moved out finish off before going off to their new home, we wish them all the best and hope things work out. They were in here for a total of 8 months. Thankfully, we may be out sooner.

Still have no TV, but we are watching loads of DVDs and TV on the internet. Because I don't get a paper normally, we didn't even know that Michael Jackson had died until the Saturday, how sad is that!!! We are a bit of the loop really!

But now I make a point on checking the news online and since his death brought a paper daily to keep as part of marking history. It is something I have done for years and have newspapers from all over world relating to historical moments. Thankfully when we had the fire, things like these were packed away securely and were not damaged. But when I got them all back, the Company had specially sealed every newspaper for me, so they will never lose there colour. Must of cost a fortunate, hopefully I can do this with my newer copies in the future.

I am going to go now, this was just quick update and will start posting again tomorrow properly.

See ya tomorrow.

Thursday, 7 May 2009

Sorry I haven't posted for a while, but I have to rest my wrist due to Carpel Tunnel and hopefully will pick up again shortly.

Regards

Tracy

Saturday, 25 April 2009

Day 14 Diary - Living in a Homeless Shelter

Saturday, 25th April 2009

Last we all got a wonderful night's sleep, Casey still woke up and came in with us and I ended up on the edge of the mattress being squeezed by Casey, but that is doable! Steve was working today and for the first time in a long while I did not even hear him go!

Up today at 8am as we have to be at Gymnastics today so yet again we are in a rush as they children need baths before we leave. All out the door at 9.25am, sign in before I leave and off we go!

I do try and stay and watch her at Gymnastics but today I walk Casey over the market to get the fruit and veg whilst she is in Gymnastics and then go back to watch the last 45 mins. Today they are doing handstands on the bar and general walking, kicks, dips etc on the beam followed by rope climbing for strength building. Taylor may only be tiny, but she was the only one who got to the top and range the bell, I am very proud of her!

Steve's finishing later than he thought so after Gymnastics we have to take him some lunch as he has forgotten his wallet. On the journey, Taylor decides she wants to know what my name will be when I get bigger and marry again. No matter how I try to tell her that I will not grow any bigger and I have no intentions of marrying anyone else as I am married to dad and very happy, she thinks I will! How to they come up with these concepts in their little minds.

We finally make it to Steve's work and the children have a tour of the factory and Steve shows them how the machine works. This is a regular occurence every time we go to Steve's work, but the children love it.

They get upset when we have to leave because they want to stay and watch, but Steve is busy and its not possible and safe enough for them.

The factory is full high with paper and jobs already completed for the Dorchester Hotel, Steve has been working on their new menu, its differently an eye opener. Until 4 years ago we use to have the staff christmas party at the Dorchester Hotel in London. The Hotel use to pay for everything as a thank you for all the work done and we use have a limosene takes us up, followed by a dinner and dance and a stay overnight, it was real treat! But some of the older staff did not what to do it no more so things changed.

It was really nice to be treated to something like that, when in normally circumstances you would not get the chance to stay there, but at least Steve and I went for 6 years before things changed.

Back at the Shelter and Casey is asleep, so I take all the shopping in and Taylor goes off to play, I get Casey out very carefullyin the hope that he will stay asleep and I can have a couple of hours to myself, but not my luck he is awake and bouncing round like Tigger!! So he goes off to play as well, but Taylor and the gang have gone in the forest and Casey is not going, I don't really like Taylor going, but I can see her, but Casey is way too young!

Taylor and the gang are building a treehouse and I don't see her for most of the afternoon, but I play outside with Casey and play ball and speak to the other resident. The family of six still have not decided what to do, they are going to phone on money to see if the property is on the list for a refurbishment as it is in desperate need of work before they decide.

The children Taylor plays with have just come and out of the forest as they are off to the nan's and only one of them are dressed, one is in her pyjamas and t-shirt and the other in a all-in-one leotard and dressing gown. I could never let my children out dressed like, but to make things worst they then leave to go to their nan's and they don't get changed, thats how they go dressed! Don't figure with me any how!

Steve is home at 4.45pm and I do dinner, then its the normal regime, dinner, bed and baths. Steve and I play on the WII and watch some TV and off to bed, Steve is knackered!

See ya tomorrow!

Friday, 24 April 2009

Day 13 - Living in a Homeless Shelter

Friday, 24th April 2009

Last night was less eventful compared to others, but still exhausted.

Still exhausted, but up on time todayand out the door with plenty of time for school, thank godness, I hate being late anywhere!

So, again today I have very little to do, Steve has no petrol so need to take some money to his work. Firstly, off to my mum's to deliver a parcel I collected for her yesterday and had a long chat with her neighbour.

My mum and dad have lived in their house for 25 years and their neighbour moved there when the houses were first built in the late 70s, so I have grown up with them. They have one son the same age as me who still lives at home! In the UK it is almost impossible to set up home on your home now and the majority of sibling are now choosing to live at home.

Jean and Bob are great and have been very supportive to me through everything, Jean has been shoulder to cry on over the last couple of years. Because they have no grandchildren of their own they idolise Taylor and Casey and this morning was no different when she see Casey.

Off to Steve work. Steve works in Hertford, Hertfordshire which is a historical town and he is 4/5 Colour printer and produces work for large organisations such Marks and Spencers and some of the top Hotels in London i.e. Dorchester, Hilton etc. He loves his job and his dad was in the print trade as well.

Casey gets very upset when he sees Steve and wants to stay with him, but Steve was not finishing work until 11.30am and the factory was very busy as they have some important jobs going out this weekend. On a friday Steve only works a 5.5 hours as he works a 37.5 week and the rest of the week is an 8 hour shift.

As there is no overtime today, Steve is home by 1215. Casey and I are playing football in the small park so he can see Daddy come home and everytime he sees a little red van he goes crazy. Steve finally gets home and Casey runs up to him kicking his ball wanting him to play football. Mummy isn't good enough when Daddy is around, when footbal is concerned. That is how it should be!

Off for lunch, feeling a little better today and have arranged to take my jewellery in next week. Steve is working tomorrow, which is a relief as it makes such a difference to us, so I will be doing Gymnastics etc on my own which can be a nightmare with Casey, but never mind!

After lunch, sit outside talking to the family across the way, the weather is gorgeous again today so quite a few people are out and about. The staff are helping new family who have just moved into a chalet down from us. They take the time to stop and talk with us and discuss the major topic of the day, should this family bid for the only 3 bed available this week, which is in need of alot of work and quite isolated if you only have one car.

The only problem with not bidding is, this is the first week when there has not been many 3 beds and recently there has been a surge of 3 beds which could indicate a dry spell ahead. This is what the staff were explaining to us. Which when you only have 2 months of bid before the Council make direct bid on your behalf its difficult to call.

Again they go off for another look and come back more confused. Bidding closes next wednesday so they have some time to decide, but they have a good chance of winning the bid, so they need to be sure!

Steve and Casey goes off to pick Taylor up from School and I have a lay down, I must have been out for the count, because Steve had to get some bits in Tescos and could not remember them all and rang me 15 times, did not hear a thing!

Up at 5pm, dinner, so more time out playing for the children whilst we tidy up and then its bathtime. Casey in first, so Taylor can play with her friends on her own and because he is very tired, but HeadLice is discovered, so off to Tescos for me to get the shampoo and the children are treated immediately which meant they did not go to bed until 9pm.

Steve plays on the WII (got new batteries) Fit whilst I write this blog and check my emails.

Off now to play on the WII before going to bed.

See ya tomorrow!

Day 12 - LIfe in a Homeless Shelter

Thursday, 23rd April 2009

Sorry for not posting earlier, but my PC went down yesterday.

Casey was a complete nightmare last night, all in all I got about 4 hours sleep, so I am exhausted.

When it came to getting up for school he was out for the count, could I wake him, of course not!

Again we are running late for school and make it just in time. Have few things to do today, but nothing much. Off to my mums to bring the children's drink cups up, then go a pick up a parcel up, petrol, which costs £40 for just one week and the Chancellor put another 2p on the cost yesterday, which means its approx 94.9p per litre. So with the cost of our petrol we also run an old van which is £30 a week. The cost of running the two vehicles is crippling us financially.

Other people in the Shelter who are on benefits get cabs laid on my by the social doesn't figure, does it!

By the time I've been to Tescos, Casey falls asleep in the car and sleeps for 2 hours. Giving me some time to do some bits and my WII workout before Dave arrives.

Dave is determined to beat Steve at the Ski Jumping now, the highest score at present on this is 330metres, but by the time Dave has gone home he is Jumping 400metres.

Today I have been feeling really down, with the budget putting everything up to ridculous price it means we are going to be even more worst off. Although the Chancellor has robbed from the rich to help the poor, it does not help us out. And who gives him the right to take 50% of everything someone earns over £150,000 just because they have messed up the country's finances. The government is being run by a bunch of clowns and we are going to paying off the country's debt for the next decade.

As I have mentioned before the government believes that a family of 4 can live on £230 a week, our current rent and bills in the Shelter are £110.25 then with our petrol at £70 a week and a basic food shop a week being £100, we are paying out a total of £280.25 a week before we look at paying for our life insurance which is £60 a month, car tax, insurance, clothes and little extras. My husband basic wage is £341 a week (bring home) and then on top of that we have £125 a month Child Benefit and £140 a month Working Tax Credit.

So all in all we have a monthly income of £1629 and our basic outgoings which out insurances, clothes etc is £1161.25, then our insurances etc is £190 equally £1351.25 a month, the other money left over goes towards our mobile phone bills of £100 (we don't have a house phone a present) and our gas and old house phone bill. So we don't have anything left at the end of the month for clothes etc.

So if we were not in the Shelter we would not have enough money to cover the bills. I refuse to cancel Life Insurance, we don't have our Pension and if something happens to Steve and I at least I can say I did not leave my children broke. This is important to me!

So at the weekend I am selling some of my jewerlley, as gold is being brought at a good price at the moment. I have my enternal ring, engagement and some other bits which are worth something. They are all sentimental bits but I cannot afford to be sentimental at the moment, trying to get some money in from me is more important and getting us back on our own 2 feet.

We can also replace them when we can afford to!

The rest of the day goes by unnoticed. The WII Fit isn't working as the batteries have gone and we have no spares, the internet was down, so early to bed.

See ya tomorrow

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Day 11 Diary - Life in a Homeless Shelter

Wednesday, 22nd April 2009


Oh what a great night's sleep, still don't real any better for it though!
Today is another poignant day in our life's, we have a small service so we can scatter my father-in-law's ashes.
So up at 7.30am and out by 9.30am. Need to pick up Steve's granddad and his partner first for the service and then off to my mother-in-laws. Steve's granddad is 95 years old and very healthy considering his age. He is mobile, although using a wheelchair if going long distances.
The service is at 11am at the Enfield Crematorium and we are joined by Steve's two sisters and one of our brother-in-laws. The service isn't long, a short reading made with a poem and the Lord's prayer before the ashes are scattered on the lawn never the plague.
The weather is glorious when make the event even more poignant. Pete loved being outside, o the place Coral has chosen is very fitting as it is surrounded by trees, flowers, a pond and a small flowing river, I think he would have approved!
Steve's brother Lee did not come down from Derby, cannot afford the petrol, which Steve is not happy about, but has now learned to accept that this how his brother is.
Peter will be sorely missed, he was great man and adored all his grandchildren.
The morning flew by and we all headed back to Coral's for some lunch before going home.
Steve spent the rest of the afternoon playing football with some of the other man at the Shelter and I sat and spoke with the mother of the four children who is able to bid this week. There is a place coming up but they have decided not to bid as it is very isolated and with only one vehicle it will be impossible to get the children to School, weekly shopping etc, so they will have to wait and see what else there is or wait for the next round in 2 weeks, they are very disappointed.
When you are in the Shelter and you put into Band 1, if you bid on a property and you are successful, you don't get the opportunity to refuse if it is not what you want or to go an view the property properly you are just given one chance and if you refuse it you have a month to leave the Shelter.
This makes it very difficult especially when you have to take in to consideration so many variables when you have children. But all this is irrelevant, you should be grateful you are being offered a home and that is the end of it (well that’s what the Council seem to think anyway).

Steve went and picked up the children from my parents at 7.30pm and they are asleep when they are brought in, so straight to bed for them.

We are going to settle down now and to catch up with Bones and perhaps watch Criminal Minds, we watch Desperate Housewifes last night, I cannot believe that Edi Britt is dead, but she went in spectacular fashion, as she lived her life.

See ya tomorrow

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Day Ten Diay - Life in a Homeless Shelter

Tuesday, 21st April 2009

Well after last night's events, motherhood is definitely not great, god I am exhausted. My night time adventures started at 11pm, when Casey woke up, moved him in with Steve and I went in his bed, which is too small in length so tried desperately to get to sleep even though my feet were hanging off the end. Just got comfy and Casey started screaming, so up again to pacify him and decided to get in with Casey and Steve, but not comfy so up again and moved Taylor in with Steve and Casey, but by now I am awake and was struggling to go to sleep.


Just doze off and Casey again, finally fell asleep at 3.30am and then he woke me up at 5.45am again and this time he went straight down with a cuddle and did not wake to 7.30am.


But now we are late for school and it is one massive panic to get out in time, slightly late and then there is heavy traffic through Epping and Taylor is late! Oh god what a great start to the day, never mind!

Spent the morning at the Shelter, it is a beautiful day so Casey and I went in the park where another little boy from the Shelter was playing.

Whilst the played I was speaking to his mum and they have been in Shelter since February 2009 and can start bidding in May. Prior to coming in the Shelter they were sharing a two bed with her mum and sister and her and her son were sharing room with her sister. The Council said that this living arrangement was acceptable and only agreed to them coming in the Shelter because her mum said she had thrown her out.

Dave came round again today, we meant to be doing some paperwork but spent all our time on the WII, we are officially obsessed!

My dad collected Taylor from School and I took Casey down to Waltham Abbey a bit later as they are spending the night with my parents as we have the scattering of my father-in-law's ashes tomorrow.

Steve was working late and did not finish until 5pm so when he got home we had dinner and the three of us played on the WII most of the evening, we are very competitive!!! One of the teenagers came in and played as well and earlier in the evening I was speaking to her mum who was saying she had been informed that there would be nothing for her to bid on this week, which means after 2 rounds of bids she has not been successful leaving her with only 2 more bids before the Council make a direct bid on her behalf, she is very worried.

Dave left at 9pm and I had relaxing bath, whilst Steve continued to master the Ski Jumping then we are settling down to watch Desperate Housewifes.

Here's to a good night's sleep - Yippee

See ya tomorrow

Monday, 20 April 2009

Day Nine Diary - Life in a Homeless Shelter

Monday, 20th April 2009

Things are back to normal this morning, Taylor is back at School, Yippee, Steve has swapped shifts today so he will take her to School with Casey so I can do my work-out and some bits around the place in peace.


Taylor still attends School in Waltham Abbey so its out the door for 8.30am to get there for 9am, so off they go, Taylor looking really cute in her little school uniform and looking forward to seeing her friends.

Did an hour on the WII, I try to due the Aerobic and Muscle Workouts to get the best out of it and I also have the Fitness Coach, so I alternate between them.


All finished, so shower, prepare Steve's lunch for work for today and tomorrow (tomorrow he leaves at 5am) and of course Taylor's lunch. Go pay the rent which is £110.25 a week and this includes all your utility bills excluding TV licence if you are fortunate enough to have a signal.

Today we have lift off with Casey's potty training, he has been showing signs he is ready for a little while, but today he use it on his own for the first time and has done so the whole time we have been indoors. Of course when I picked Taylor up from school he wore a nappy.

Steve spends some time on the WII while I d my emails etc and then we have lunch (scrambled egg on toast today) and he leaves for work at 1pm.


My friend Dave is came round again today and we go and pick Taylor up from school, have to go to the shop as Casey broke my internet dongle and I cannot do with out that, so another expense I could have done without. On getting home th children play outside with their friends, who again come and cause havoc in the Chalet, but never mind, although it is annoying I tried to understand they have nothing really to do.

Again it is dinnertime and nothing special this evening, fish, salad and potatoes, then baths and bed. Dave and I spend some time doing some reading of the Profit Lance Course before he goes home and I was hoping to watch Desperate Housewifes which was on in the US last night, but its not listed yet so I will catch up with CSI Las Vegas and then Cold Case.


We do watch alot of US TV, we very rarely watch anything from the UK, so there are many programmes to watch, including Special Victim Unit, Criminal Intent, Las Vegas, Criminal Minds, the list is endless. If there is anything anyone recommends let me know, we will give a look?

See ya tomorrow.

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Day Eight - Living in a Homeless Shelter

Sunday, 19th April 2009

The children have Steve up at 7am this morning, but he lets me sleep until 9am, when the children come and jump on me to get up, I am awake anyway. The children are already, dressed and have had breakfast which is lovely. Steve is great!

Today Steve is taking the children to do the food shopping so I can do some study and a work-out in peace. Steve always tries to give me some time to myself when he is around, as I am with the children all week and get up to them in the night, obviously as he is at work.

The Shelter is quite again today. There is one lady outside with her little boy, who is the same age as Casey and they play together when he is around. Our neighbour who shares our facilities is in this morning, she works very hard and is hardly at home and today is no exception. She is rushing around doing the laundry so she can go to her Caravan in Claction.

We have a 24 hour laundry on site which you get tokens from the office for. We use this every now and then but very rarely.

During the afternoon Steve took the children for a work in the forest so I can get some study done, but they all come back very excited as they had found a brand new bike dumped in a pond we off we all went to retrieve it so Steve and children could do it up. It keeps them busy!!!

The rest of the day when by unnoticed really the children played outside with the others and runsacked our living room, which means more work.

After dinner, it was time for baths and bed, back to school tomorrow, yippee!!!! Once they were tucked up in bed we cleaned up, washed floors and ten spent 2 hours playing on the WII, we are officially obsessed, especially with the Ski Slalom, best times 24 secs and 26 secs for me.

We finally pulled ourselves away and watched CSI NY on the internet, the great thing about not having TV is we definitely have more quality time together and when do watch something we are way ahead of anyone else in the UK as we watch US. We have just watched Past, Present and Murder whereas in the UK Danny and Lindsay are not even married yet!

See ya tomorrow!!!

Saturday, 18 April 2009

Day Seven - Life in a Homeless Shelter

Saturday, 18th April 2009

Up early again today, we had a quite an eventful night with Casey, he had another nightmare which meant he woke up screaming and we could not wake him for 30 minutes and then we could finally calm him down.

Taylor has Gymnastics today, so we are meeting my mum and dad over the Gym ready for her class. One of the girl at the Shelter is going for a trial today so she walks over with Steve and I to attend her class.


Taylor is like a cat on hot tins when we meet her and looking forward to her Gymnastics today. Taylor's class is for 1 1/2 hours and starts at 9.45am. There are 8 girls in the group with two coaches. Today they work on floor and bars and at the end of the class do a little springboard practise. On the floor today, they working on their bridges, back bends and extending each leg in the air ready for kicking over from a bridge.


Taylor concentrates very well and is determined to learn. Her bridge has come so far since she has started, I am very proud of her.


On bars they done strengthening work, which means pulls up in the forward and the revserse hand position and leg lifts in straddle and pike position. These seem very basic exercises but they are the foundation exercises needed to improve their strength and will eventually lead them to having the strength to up-start etc (this is the start you will see alot of interntional gymnasts do to start a bar routine). They also work on pulling their selves over the bar and laying away from the bar and circling down from bar, but pulling their chin over the bar at the same time.


Finally they practise basic springboard techniques, these again are important as it allows the follow on to using the vault and these are techniques that even the greatest of gymnasts would have done at the early stage of their career.


The bar technique would even be used by great gymnasts in their basic everyday training i.e. Nastia Lukin etc would enhance these in their strength training daily.


Whilst I am watching Taylor at Gymnastic Steve and Casey go over the market to get the fruit and veg. My dad finally persuades my mum to leave, as he needs to go to hospital has he has hurt his arm.


Mum today is talking about the World Gymnastics which is being shown at O2 in London in the Autumn. Steve and I had said a little while ago we hope to get the money together and take Taylor and have a nice day out the 3 of us, but suddenly mum is like, we need to get tickets and me and you take Taylor, I have never been and would love to go. She knows we were going to go with Taylor and suddenly I shrink into myself and don't know what to say, as if I say that we are going, oh, but Steve won't like it and all this crap, but Steve is going to speak to my dad, who is really understanding. Steve and I cannot do anything on own, my mum has to do everything!

Steve is a very hands on dad, he loves spending time as a family unit when he can and my mum tries to take this away. She does not do this to my sister.

This afternoon the children played outside with the other children for while before Steve went off with another resident with the metal detector. Whilst this is going on my mum and dad stop by to drop off our washing and to let us know how my dad got on at the hospital.

My dad is wonderful man, who also has no self confidence due to being severely dyslexic, he feels he cannot cope on his own. My mum is awful to him and he just plods on with his life feeling he has no other options. We have told him on many occasions that he would be fine on his own. He does everything at home, cleaning, ironing, washing, hoovering and cooking and my mum most of the time either sews or sits in front of the computer. She is so awful to him that she has woke him in the past to sk for a cup of tea when she is sitting next to the kettle! Also, if my dad is watching TV in bed and has fallen asleep she gets into bed and then wakes him to turn the TV off. This type of behaving does not register with me!

Anyway my dad takes the children for a walk in the forest for about an hour. As I have said in the past our chalets back onto part of Epping Forest and it wonderful to take the children for walk in there. They get to see lots of different animals, including some wild Peacock!

Whilst they are at the forest our friend Dave turns up. Dave is a retired and has never had a family of his own and he has taken under his wing and treats Taylor and Casey like his grandchildren. I know Dave from my day's on the railway, that is what I did prior to having a family, I was a Revenue Control Officer on the London Lines which meant we use to ensure safe travel and that people were paying for their fares and dealing with fare envaders. Unlike in the US we did not carry guns and the part of London we worked could be quite dangerous. We use to work with the police a lot and do undercover work to catch frequent offenders. I really enjoyed my job.

Today Dave has, yet again turned up armed with presents and sweets for the children and they think the world of him.

We spend the rest of the day talking and playing on the WII. Other residents come in to have a go and before we know it is dinner, baths and bed. Casey is exhausted and goes to sleep straight away, but not Taylor. She is just a bundle of energy and finally goes down at 8.30pm.

Dave, Steve and I were hoping to sit down and go through Profit Lance course but did not have time, but Dave is coming round in the week so we will go through it then.

The Shelter has been quite today, even though the weather is lovely and we go and see if the family across from us have a film we can watch but I fall asleep.

Mind you, I am not asleep long as Casey wakes a 11pm and is wide awake and does not go back to sleep to 2am. Taylor then wakes, but she just gets into bed with us and I go in her bed.

All is finally quite on the western front!

See ya tomorrow

Friday, 17 April 2009

Day Six Diary - Living in a Homeless Shelter

Friday, 17th April 2009

Sorry for not published this yesterday, again it was another hectic day. It was my sister's boy's 2nd birthday so we went off to High Wycombe for the day.

This was a tough day for me. When my sister and I were growing up I was always the one who was seen as outgoing and everyone expected a lot from me, its awful, but this is how society is and my sister was the shy, interovert and was bullied at school.

Now we are in complete role reversal. My sister has done very well for herself, not academically or anything, but she is comfortable, with a large social network and a very confident person. She has moved away from Waltham Abbey to High Wycombe in Buckinghamshire which has done her the world of good. I am very proud of her and would encourage her to stay in High Wycombe where she is very happy and not come back to Waltham Abbey.

I on the other hand, have very little friends and have lost all my confidence and have trouble with socialising now. Although my preference would not be living in Waltham Abbey, far from it, at this time in my life, unless something changes I feel have no choice. My parents live there and they are a great support to us at the moment, but the problem I have is, my mum is only supportive when you are doing what she wants you to do. Which is not how it should be, I strongly believe that children need to be nurtured and taught the skills for adulthood and when they are old enough they fly the nest and they are more likely to turn to you when they need you and if when they need your support you are there for them irrelevant if it is what you what them to do.

See, my mum will only help us if we live in a very close proximity to her i.e. Sawbridgeworth which is 14 miles from Waltham Abbey is too far. Sadly, when we do tell her we I not going to live where she feels is not in close enough proximity she can be very nasty. I don't like to talk about my mum like this, but, she sends us nasty letters insulting us and throwing things back in our faces, she has even gone as far as sending letters to Steve's work and making threatening phone calls.

This has knocked my self confidence immensely and my sister does not understand how I feel, she feels I am selfish, because mum does so much for us. But even today I still hope that my mum will accept that we need to live our life as we see fit, hence why I am so desperate to get back on our feet and live our own life and not the life my mum wants. When I am in a position to support my family sufficiently if she wants to treat us like that, I will be strong enough to turn my back and if she does not like it, then that is her choice and I can get on with my own life.

The last episode of her behaving like this was in January this year, when we thought with the Council's help we could move back to near Sawbridgeworth. Sawbridgeworth is in another County and is not represented by Epping Forest Council, but there is a tiny part of a town called Sheering, which is classed as Sawbridgeworth, but is represented by our local Council. But again I forgave her and tried to move on, espeically due to our situation, but in all honestly I never really move on, it just scars me a little more each time and tears away at my self confidence.

My confidene is so low that I feel that I have to asked my mum for her approval in what I do, even with my children. Although she never really agrees with what I want and then I feel worst.

This is how my mum lived her life, living round the corner from my nan and she believes family should live near. I don't, I believe we should live our lifes as we want and then you appreciate the family you have.

I had a couple events this morning that meant I disappeared into the toilet because I did not what people to see how upset I was. If I am honest it was jealously, but at the moment I cannot control those feelings no matter how much I try.

The children enjoyed seeing their cousins and had great fun with the other children and we left about 3pm so we could miss the evening traffic on the M25.

It was raining again yesterday and as we were leaving Casey fell over twice hitting his head in the same place twice. He had a bump the size of an egg on his forehead and fell asleep as soon as he calmed down.

On the way home we decided to stop a place called London Colney, which is a junction off of the M25 for some dinner and have the Pharmacy check Casey's head. They advised us to get him checked over by the hospital to be on the safe side, so Taylor stayed at my mum and dad's overnnight because the casualty on a Friday is hectic and you don't know how long you could be.

So on arriving at my mum and dad's I left immediately with Casey to meet Steve and went straight up the hospital. Wasn't at the hospital as long as we thought and Casey was given the all clear and sent home to be monitored overnight.

Because the weather wasn't great yesterday the Shelter is very quiet when we got home, so just went straight in, had a bath and then snuggled up in the bed with Casey and he went to sleep whilst we watched Bones.

Just another boring day!

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Day Five Diary - Living in a Homeless Shelter

Today I am absolutely exhausted, did not sleep to well last night, kept waking up with pins and needles in my hands which is a regular occurrence for me. I don't sleep on my hands so there is no reason for me to have the pins and needles, but never mind!

I am also in lot of pain with my leg today, after a long day yesterday and little sleep last night a condition I suffer from in my right ankle has flared right up. I have a condition called Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome, which developed after a severe sprain in my right ankle. When my body tried to heal the signals from my brain got confused, leaving on the sympathic system, which tells your body you are injured. Therefore even though there is nothing wrong with my foot my body releases all the signals to my foot to try and heal it.

This system sometimes resets itself in time, but mine has not. Thankfully the condition has not spread through my extremities like it can, but the pain some days is really bad others its bearable. The best things for the condition is exercise to try to reset the system and to keep the ankle as strong as possible as of course because when the body is injured you get muscle wastage, brittle bone, swelling etc.

The condition is part of the Muscular Dystrophy family and general pracitioners struggle with understanding the condition as it is quite rare. I take medication daily to control the pain as much as possible.

I have recently been having problem with my right knee and hip and will be going to have the test to check the condition has not spread shortly, but I think it is mainly due to the way I walk more than anything.

The only time I had relieve from the condition (its was bearable anyway) was when I was in the US and I cycled, hiked and did all the things I used to love doing without any real problems. This was when Steve and I spent 3 week travelling down the west coast visits, San Francisco, Lake Tahoe, Mammoth Lakes, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, San Diego and Palm Springs. We drove all the way and had a wonderful time.

We are determined to hire a Camper Van (or something like it) and do the same trip with the children during the whole 6 weeks summer holidays when they are old enough. They are both very active children and we are sure they will love the trip as much as we did. We would also take them to Death Valley and Yosemite which we did a couple of years after the trip stated.
____________________________________________________

Thursday, 16th April 2009

Today we got up a 8am and its raining which means hell for me as the children cannot go out and play and as they are very active children they have no room to let off stream. Thankfully we have a couple of very soft balls which they kick in the small corner and obviously the Wii which my daughter, Taylor loves. They also make use of our mattress and pretend its a boat and they are sinking (Taylor has an amazing imagination), but otherwise they stare out of the window.

Mum is bringing colouring things later when we go to meet her, so they have that to do later.

The Shelter is like a ghost town today, no-one around at all.

Steve takes things to our on-site lock up which we don't need, but nothing exciting is going on at all.

Everyone on the site has a small allocation of space within a large lock up for their things. An inventory is taken when things are put in and crossed off as removed.

We received a letter today informing us that we can start bidding on 7th July 2009 and explaining how it works. I have talked about this already, so from 7th July 2009 we have 2 months to bid, 2 bids a month and if you are successful off you go, if not then the Council will bid on your behalf for 1 month and then after that you just allocated a place. How exciting!!!! Sorry feeling a bit down today so even this letter could not lift my spirits.

Still desperately trying to work out how I can get some money together to start to do PPC advertising, so any ideas would be great? I am going o give it a proper look over the weekend again.

This afternoon we went off to meet with the Development Officer as Casey keeps tripping over as his feet turn in. Steve was hoping to come, but my mum is coming instead as Steve could not get the day off work. But the doctor is not overly concerned as Steve had the same problem, so if it does not correct itself by school age they will then look again.

Just through other things to do while we are out but nothing exciting, until mum said "Would Casey like to go for a sleepover?" Yippee, a good night's sleep for all! Except mum and dad of course, but they love it!

So Taylor wants a girlie night, so we go to the supermarket and buy pizza, ready for a night in on the Wii, Colouring and watching High School Musical 3 on the Computer. Until the fire alam goes off again and we are standing outside for 45 minutes waiting. Back indoors and the girlie night continues. Its lovely spending some time with just Taylor.

At 8pm she will go off to bed and I will settle down to a pile of iron and catching up with CSI and CSI NY on the internet and then I think an early night for me!

Sorry nothing exciting happens today!

See ya tomorrow

Day Four - Diary - Living in a Homeless Shelter

Sorry for the delay in this posting, we were out all day yesterday with my mum and got home very late, so I was too tired to do anything.

So, today I am going to start by giving you some information on the Banding system Epping Forest District Council use to decide who needs priority houses. We have 6 Bands and depending on your situation it depends where you are placed on this list. When we joined the housing list in January we were in Band 6 (not a chance at least 10 years before consideration) but with a letter from my GPwe moved to Band 4 (not much difference there those,still looking at 10 years). Below is a is exactly how the Council decide where you should be on this listing.


Band 1

(a) Homeseekers with Council or RSL tenancies in the District wanting to move to
accommodation with fewer bedrooms.

(b) Homeseekers living in the District for more than a year immediately prior to application,
needing to move on strong medical or welfare grounds or for reasons of disability. **

(c) Homeseekers accepted by Epping Forest District Council as homeless, eligible for
housing assistance, in priority need and not intentionally homeless, who are living in:

• bed and breakfast accommodation secured by the Council, but excluding those
referred to another local housing authority under S.198 of the Housing Act 1996.

• Living at the Council’s Homeless Persons Hostel, Norway House or the Women’s
Refuge for 3 months after the date of their homelessness decision under S.184 of the
Housing Act 1996

• Properties under the Council’s “Fresh Start” scheme or Hemnall House for 6 months
after the date of their occupation in that property, where the Council has accepted a
duty.

• Living in Brook Haven for 6 months and having been served with a S 21 Notice (giving
notice of ending the assured tenancy) following their situation being resolved
In respect of (c) above, where the Council has accepted a duty, homeseekers in these
four categories will be able to participate in the Choice Based Lettings Scheme for a
period of 8 weeks (4 cycles). If no successful expressions of interest are made, the
Council will make the homeseeker one offer of suitable secure accommodation. If the
offer is refused, the Council’s homelessness duty to provide accommodation will be
discharged.

(d) Homeseekers living in the Epping Forest District for more than a year immediately
prior to application, residing in insanitary, overcrowded or unsatisfactory conditions. *

(e) Homeseekers whom the multi-agency referral panel for S.A.F.E. (Single
Accommodation for Epping Forest) has notified the Council as having been on the
project for at least 9 months and are ready to move on.

Band 2

(a) Homeseekers having to live apart from other members of their household because of
lack of accommodation, but not for personal reasons (i.e. family disputes) where the
applicant or their partner have lived in the Epping Forest District for more than a year
immediately prior to application.

(b) Homeseekers in Epping Forest District Council accommodation that is non-secure by
virtue of Schedule 1 of the Housing Act 1985, excluding those referred to another local
housing authority under S.198 of the Housing Act 1996, accepted by Epping Forest
District Council as homeless, eligible for housing assistance, in priority need and not
intentionally homeless.

Band 3

Homeseekers meeting the criteria of Band 4 (a) or (b), and one other criterion in Band 4
(which can also include (a) and (b)).

Band 4

(a) Homeseekers living in the District for more than a year immediately prior to application,
needing one or more additional bedrooms.

(b) Homeseekers living in the District for more than a year immediately prior to application,
needing to move on moderate medical or welfare grounds or for reasons of disability,
or needing to move to a particular locality in the District where failure to do so will
result in them or others suffering hardship.**

(c) Homeseekers accepted by Epping Forest District Council as homeless and eligible for
housing assistance but not in priority need, living in the District for more than a year
immediately prior to becoming homeless.

(d) Homeseekers living in the District for more than a year immediately prior to application,
and sharing accommodation with another household.

(e) Households including a child under the age of 15 living in the District for more than a
year immediately prior to application who have no access to a garden.

(f) Households including a child under the age of 5 living in the District for more than a
year, immediately prior to application living in a flat or maisonette above ground floor.

Band 5

(a) Homeseekers living in the District for less than a year or outside the District in
overcrowded, insanitary or unsatisfactory conditions.*

(b) Homeseekers living in the District for less than a year or outside the District needing to
move on medical, welfare or hardship grounds or for reasons of disability.***

(c) Homeless people over 60 years of age in non-secure accommodation prior to
receiving a decision under S.184 of the Housing Act 1996.

(d) All homeless people (by virtue of the Housing Act 1996) who are not eligible for Bands
1 to 4.

(e) Single homeless people accommodated in bed and breakfast hotels who in the view of
the Director of Housing would benefit from the S.A.F.E Project or the Floating Support
Scheme.

(f) Homeseekers accepted by Epping Forest District Council as homeless, eligible for
assistance, in priority need but found to have become homeless intentionally.

(g) Homeseekers accepted by another local housing authority as homeless and eligible for
assistance, including those in temporary accommodation secured by another authority.

(h) Homeseekers living in the District for less than a year or outside the District sharing
accommodation with another household or needing one or more additional bedrooms.

(i) Households including a child under the age of 15 living in the District for less than a
year or living outside the District with no access to a garden.

(j) Households including a child under 5 living in the District for less than a year or living
outside the District living in a flat or maisonette above ground floor.

(k) Homeseekers who, in the opinion of the Council, have sufficient income and/or assets
to enable them to purchase accommodation as set out in paragraph 8.5 of the
Scheme.

Band 6
All other homeseekers

*Where the permitted number, in accordance with the provisions of S. 326 of the Housing
Act 1985 is exceeded, or the property is in a serious state of disrepair, of poor internal or
external arrangement, or the property has been classified as having at least one Category 1
Housing Hazard under the Housing Act 2004 or is lacking one or more of the following;
kitchen facilities, inside W.C., utility supplies.

**Medical priority to be determined by one of the Council’s Medical Advisers or a company
commissioned by the Council to provide medical advice on written evidence and taking into
account all known facts relating to the application. Welfare and hardship grounds to be
assessed on written evidence by the Housing Options Manager, in consultation with one of
the Council’s Medical Advisers and one other member of the Housing Options Section as
appropriate. Welfare issues will encompass care and support needs and social needs, for
instance, where a secure base is required for a care-leaver or any other vulnerable person to
build a stable life or where a person needs to move to make a fresh start to recover from the
effects of violence. Hardship may also include a need to move to give or receive care as well
as for access to specialist medical treatment or to take up a particular offer of employment or
training opportunity.

***Written medical evidence to be accepted by staff in the Housing Options Section without
referral to one of the Council’s Medical Advisers. Welfare and hardship grounds to be
assessed on written evidence by the Housing Options Manager.

The housing problem in the UK is huge, we have so many people entering the country who are put in homeless shelters or alternative accommodation whilst waiting to be housed, people like ourselves fight tooth and nail for a home and unless you are declared homeless, like us, you have a 10 year wait. But people coming in don't have that problem. There is no justice.

Personally if people wish to come a live here, they work and support theirselves and their family like we all have to. They don't come in and expect to live off our state, which is a huge problem and the governmet is so soft!

Anyone can come in the UK but its impossible for us to get out!

Currently we are in Band 5, as after you have moved into Norway House you are all put in Band 5 until your letter arrives and then you have 3 months before you move up to Band 1. This is so the Council can move people through the system smoothly.

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Wednesday, 15th April 2009

After I logged off last night, I spent some time talking to an couple of across from us, they have 4 children and they were generally talking about the stresses of living here and how they cannot wait to leave. They too, spend most of their night playing musical beds and get very little sleep.

The father was made redundant last year and they have been in the Shelter since November, they can start bidding next and they just hope they are successful. The stresses of being in here are really taking its toll of them. The father cannot wait to get work, but as things are at the moment he does not know where they will end up living, at least when you have a job you have the upper hand on not being moved to far due to work.

They are fed up with the mouse and the other day, they found maggots in the kitchen. They keep their work surface immaculately clean and they still had a problem.

Tonight events were pretty quiet Casey slept later than normal and Taylor stayed in her bed. But Steve did not finish work until 12midnight so obviously he wanted to sit up and use the computer which makes it very hard to sleep. But you manage, you get use to being tired in the end.

Up early today, as we are going out for the day with my mum, as I have mentioned before my mum is off of work this week as her company closes down. She works for a Civil Engineering Company and if the company is part of a Union they close. Only problem is this comes out of her holiday allowance for the year.

So we are off to Brighton, sorry there was a last minute change of plan, we are off to Southend. Due to a specialist operation being run on the M20 the road is closed, although you go on the M23 to Brighton, the M20 being closed means the M23 will be choatic.

So running late as normal we finally leave my mum's at 9.30am. But as we did not realise the road problems until after we have gone through the Dartford Tnnel so £4.50 lighter we decide we are not going to Brighton and turn back. The Dartford Tunnel Toll is £1.50 for a car to cross, so turning back it was £3.00, but my mum throw the money and missed the basket completely, don't know where the money has gone and cannot get out to search for it so it was £4.50!.

So we finally get o Southend at 12.30 after stopping for something to eat. Parked and off we go, first to the shops, my mum's favourite pasttime, use to be mind as well, but I was able to buy the children some colouring books and pens in the £1 shop. Went to a few more shops and then off to the seafront. I can assure you Soutend is no par on Vencie Beach (been a couple of time), you don't venture in the water, as it is part of the Thams Estuary, a bit like Venice Beach was before they did all the work years ago. But the Adventure Park is great. Its free to get in, but you pay for a wrist band which allows you use of the rides.

The great thing about having small children, you only pay for them, as they need to be accompanied by an adult. Obviously, you don't get to go on the really big rides, but it doesn't matter to me.

As Taylor is over a metre she can have a green band which we means she can go on some of the intermediate roller coasters and can too, yippee!

Casey has a red band for the baby rides, which my mum takes him on. The bands are £10 for Caseys' and £15 for Taylors'. But they have great fun. After a little while we leave to have some dinner and then return for another 1 1/2 hour before leaving to go home, by now its 8pm and the children are exhausted.

I finally back at the Shelter at 9.30pm, the place is almost deserted, but thankfullyhas a carry Taylor to the Chalet our neighbour is out so is able to find the keys, Steve had hid and let me in. Taylor goes straight in bed while I get Casey. But sound a sleep.

I am exhausted only thing for me tonight is bath and bed. I put Steve some dinner on and off to the bath I go.

See ya later!

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Day 3 Diary - Living in a Homeless Shelter

Well, last time was again eventful. Musical beds started early, sorry we weren't even in bed! Buy Casey woke up due to a night fright and took 20 minutes to settle down. We finally settled when I went to bed with him.

A little later Taylor was up and Steve was going to bed, so I went in Taylor's bed and Steve slept with the children.

This morning we were up at 8am and Steve went back to bed in Taylor's bed. This meant I was really stressed as by now it was 8.30am and Taylor had to be at her Gymnastic Play Day at 10am. By with only an hour before we leave and breakfast yet to be eaten, things were manic. But at 9.30am Steve got up and looked after Casey whilst I walked Taylor to Gymnastics.


Its very hard for Steve on shift whilst here, because when he gets home at 2230 he just wants to relax, well I need to sleep and of course I sleep in the lounge. Sometimes he gets home very late like 1am and of course the children are up between 7am and 8am and it such a confined space its impossible for him to sleep.


Steve is on a late shift this week, so does not start until 2pm. Not sure which shift I prefer, they both have the advantages.

Anyway off to Gymnastics we go, Taylor goes on her bike, which means I carry it half the way, but never mind.

Taylor loves her Gymnastics and has been attending Epping Forest Elite Gymnastc Club since September 2008. She would have started earlier if she had her way, but firstly I did everything to put her off, as I was a competition level gymnast and retired due to overstretch posterior crucitate ligaments and I had to wear a knee brace for 3 years. I also have overstretch ligaments posterior cruciate ligament But in the end I gave in and she is very good. She has just gone up to an 1 1/2 hour a week class and she is the youngest to do so.


Secondly, she had to want until she is in full time school to attend, which is a set requirement in this country.


She is very petite, strong and determined, so all I can do is support and guide her as we have been told she has great potential. But today is not about the Gymnastc really, its a playscheme run at the Gymnastics during the holidays and cost £15 ($20) for 6 hours which is great value in comparison to other playschemes which are run. They have great time turning tricks on the all the appartus, drawing and watching a film during lunch and then at 3.45pm the put on a show for the mums and dads. She has a great time.

Whilst she was at Gymnastic, Steve got to relax and Casey and I went off to meet my mum, who is off work this week.


My mum and dad brought a van for their small business last year and since being in the Shelter we have used the van so Steve can get to work as I need our car to ferry Taylor to and from School.


Steve works in Hertford, Hertfordshire which is the completely opposite direction to Waltham Abbey where Taylor goes to school and due to Steve's shift we have to rely on 2 vehicles to make in all possible. We could do without the extra petrol expense, but when needs must!


So, today Casey and I had to take the van to my mum's work which is in the middle of no-where in Broxbourne, Hertfordshire as someone tried to break into recently and had broke the handle off the back doors.


Casey has never been the front of the van before and is a nightmare, touching everything, throwing pooh bear and then the nappy bag goes everywhere, thankfully we make safely to Broxbourne and we won't be doing that again in a hurry!

Whilst waiting for the van to be fixed, off we go to our local Tesco Superstore, this is the size of Walmart's I have been to in the US, so mum brought us lunch and while in their I need buy a present for my nephew.

Later in the day after return with Taylor from gymnastics the children all come and play in our room whilst waiting to have dinner. The weather is lovely today, but for whatever reason the children wish to play inside.

Whilst having dinner we have a visit from the mother of another family who lives in the Chalets, this family started their bidding for a house last week and and had decided to bid on a property in Epping. They had been able to find out exactly where the house was, went to look at it from outside and had got very excited about the prospect of moving there, only to be informed today that there were two families in front of her, one currently in a battered wife's shelter and another in temporary accommodation, so they did not have a chance.

The disappointment in her face was evident and your heart went out to her. Is this how it is going to feel when its you? Are you going to be bidding in hope you will get a property in an area you really want, only to have your hopes dashed On speaking the family said they would never get their hopes up again and just hope they are fortunate enough to geta property in a nice area.

At present there are 4 families in the chalet, two at either end of the complex and the other 6 are empty. These are currently being refurbished while there are not many families in the Shelter and in the main house there are 34 contained rooms for families.

The children and are now bathed, had their ice cream and a sleep in bed finally and its 9pm. I am going to sign off now as I would like to do a Wii Workout, Ironing and then have a bath. Having a bath is the only way to relax properly round here with a good and no to disturb.

So see ya tomorrow!

Monday, 13 April 2009

Diary Day Two - Living in a Homeless Shelter

Again I have decided to start this blog by giving you a little insight into our family. Today, I will start with how we were treated by local Councils when we approached them with our situation.

After coming to the envitable decision, which was not easy because we could have continued to have my parents help us with our rent but we are not willing to go through life like that. You have to stand on your own two feet, at least then decisions make regarding your family
cannot affect anyone else but you!

So after making my mother-in-law aware of everything what had happened (no-one knew apart from my parents until January this year) we did what Epping Forest Council advised us to do and approached the other 2 Council in the area.

Technically the law states that you that you can make an homeless application to any Council in the Country, but as we were soon to find out this was not the case.

First we approached Broxbourne Borough Council - Steve was brought up in Waltham Cross which is a part of this Borough and until their deaths' both Steve's mum and dad lived in the Borough. So off we go, armed with all the information we needed and a completed application to go on the housing list (which was our first aim) we arrive at the offices in Cheshunt.

On approaching the reception and explaining we would like to put an application form to go on the housing list forward and then arrange an appointment for a homeless application.

We were abruptly asked "Well, do you live in the Borough?"
Answer "No"
Question "Do you have family in the Borough?"
Answer "Yes, my grandfather lives in Hoddesdon"
Reply"Doesn't count"
Answer"Oh, my step mum (who was with us) and step sisters live in Hoddesdon as well"
Reply "Doesn't count, she isn't on your birth certificate is she"
Answer "Obviously No, she is my step mum, but my dad lived in the Borough until his death in October 2008"
Reply "Doesn't count, it has to be a living relative, don't you have any brothers or sisters in the Borough?"
Reply "My brother lives in Derby, there is no-one esle"
Reply "Well you can approach Derbyshire County Council and go on their list as you have direct blood relation living there"
Our answer "We don't want to go and live in Derby"
Reply "Well, you don't make the requirements to go on our list you need at least 400 points from local connections in the Borough to even get on the list"
Our answer "So you won't take our application?"
Reply "No, its a waste of time"


Shocked and in tears we left. You were made to feel that any local connections you had were ilrelevant and because your parents are dead you had no rights to approach the Borough.

So off we went, to East Herts they were very approachable who gave us an appointment to discuss our Homeless Application and we left with an application form to go on the housing list and a list of paperwork required for the appointment.

A couple of days later we returned for our appointment, until 5 months prior we lived in the East Herts County and Steve also works in the County so this we were told this would go in our favor. Again this was ill-advised information by Councils.


We were informed that they would accept our application but as we declared ourselves bankrupt, although we were advised to, as it was better way of approaching the issue, we could be preserved as making ourselves homeless as we willingly gave the money from the sale of our home over.

Next we were informed that we would have no choice but to stay in our current property, even though the owner wanted to move back in, we had to wait until we were issued with an eviction notice and the baliffs were knocking on the door. Although we tried to explain, that we understood this policy, but due to the bankruptcy this would just make things impossible for us if we were to get back on our feet, as it would mean with the bankrutpcy and an eviction notice no one would every privately rent to us again. It was irrelevant!

Finally, we were told that being in a Homeless Shelter is not a bed of roses you could be in there for a couple of years before you were given a home and the cost was approximately £200 a week and the likelihood of us being declared homeless by the County was slim.

Obviously we did think living in a Homeless Shelter was a bed of roses and it was the final place we wanted to be, hence why we did not want to go down the eviction avenue, as we still wanted to get back on our feet and get a privately rented property ourselves. This is still our aim if possible!

So again we came away feeling very rejected, disappointed and confused. We had not chosen to be in this situation, but now we felt that every door is slammed in your face and you are made to feel even the country you were born and raised in is not willing to help you, even when you are on your knees.

Of course, I blame myself for the situation we are in. If I had checked the hob properly that morning I would have realised that it had a very low flame on or if I had gone upstairs and checked that the tap was off the flood would not have happened, but I will live with those regrets for the rest of my life.

No else is to blame for our situation apart from me and no matter how many people tell me it is one of things or its happened to all us, but thankfully we were in house at the time, the pain will not leave me.

I beat myself up every day over this and it lives with me every waking hour, but I cannot turn back the clocks, so I just have to learn to deal with it some way before it eats me up inside!

___________________________________________________________________
Monday, 13th April 2009

Oh what a night, Taylor woke up shortly after we got home and did not go to bed until god knows what time, she played on the Wii with us. Never mind, there is no school today.

But during the night Casey fell out of bed, missing all the cushions we had placed on the floor and hitting the floor with a very large THUD!!!! See the bed he is sleeping in, is a junior bed but is very high, but this is the first time he fell out of bed!

Very dazed we started the first round of musical beds (very popular game at the moment as the children are very unsettled). Taylor went into our bed, I went in her bed with Casey and Steve with Taylor. But for the first time ever, Casey did not want me he wanted 'Daddy', miracles do happen!. So I settled down for what I thought was going to be a lovely nights sleep.

Silly me! I was wrong! About an hour later, Casey shot up shouting 'Mummy' and in he ran with Pooh Bear (this is his favourite Bear, which he take everywhere) and jumps in bed with me. The rest of the night was spent with my nose pushed up against a wall and no room, god knows how someone so tiny can take up the whole bed, but he tosses and turns all night and finally its morning and very little sleep is achieved.

Looking at the clock we are surprised to discover it is 8.30am and we all climb into our bed in the living room and the children jump running like little bunnies. Some days we start the day with a little ditto and today is no different. So this falls on me. Not very good at this, but the children laugh and it gets them up this morning, so today's went like this.

A Mummy's job is never done, so let us go and have some fun

As the day breaks outside, its time for us to rise and shine

While my little one play outside, mummy is on hand for wiping the tears and running noses before tucking you back in bed tonight!

Told you I weren't very good, but I try!!

But out they jump running in the kitchen for the their cereal and toast!

The day starts as normal, breakfast, baths and get dressed. Even though we are not going anywhere today the children still wear respectable clothes and do not leave the chalet without being washed and having their hair brushed. It is very easy to slip in your ways in here, but we are very strict on this!

Off they go running over to the family across the way who have 3 little girls and a baby boy to see if they would like to play. Steve has been specific today, they cannot come in a play until the afternoon.

I wanted to do some work on the computer and some reading and also do a work-out of the Wii Fit. I am determined to lose all the weight I have gained during the last 2 years, I started to lose weight from having Casey, but when I developed Post-Natal Depression and the stress of everything else I am 4 stone heavier than I was before falling pregnant with Casey. So I am really trying now.

So the morning was all mapped out, until Steve decides to cook a brunch and suddenly the fire alarm goes off, everyone had to evacuted and stand in the car park, wouldn't mind there was hardly any smoke!

Anyway Taylor and Casey are screaming and Taylor is absolutely terrified even more when 2 fire engines turn up. Everything was cleared but they fireman had to wait around for the on-call warden to arrive to reset the alarm. Whilst waiting we were talking with the fireman and explaining why Taylor was frightened, but they took all the children and showed them the fire engine and we finally persuaded Taylor to go and they all sat in the fire engine, which was very exciting for of them.

Casey loved it and was going crazy, his favourite programme is 'Fireman Sam', so he was in his element.

Before the saga with the alarm, another disaster struck Casey fell down the stairs in the main building. The stairs are concrete in the main building and all the corridors are very clinical and makes you feel you are in a very old hospital or school. So he tumbles down 4 steps outside the playroom. Thankfully he is alright and soon as the word 'ball' was mentioned he was off and running again.

Finally we have brunch and the children come in and play on the Wii for a little while and play dress up, this means all Taylor's clothes are every where and the place is a complete mess.

Today they all play very nicely and as the day improves they go and play outside. They eventually go off with Steve and one of the other dad's into the forest to go treasure hunting with the metal detector.

The Shelter is situated on the outskirts of Epping Forest and behind the Chalets is a small wooded area which leads down to the old North Weald rail tracks which use to be the start of the Central Line many years ago. This section of the underground has been closed for many years now.

Later in the day, everyone is congregated outside having a drink whilst the children play, the main topic of conversation is 'what is for dinner?' this is espeically topical for people who are living in the main house as they are very restricted with only 2 rings and perhaps a fryer and mircowave.

Next topic of conversation is 'bidding for a place?' One family started bidding last week and you have from a Friday to following Wednesday when the window closes to bid on a place. You will then hear by the following Monday if you have been successful.

There is another family who can start bidding a week Friday and they are desperately hoping they are success straight away. The requirement is a large 3 bed or 4 bed which do not come up very often, but fingers crossed they will not have a problem.

The evening is now upon us and everyone goes inside to make dinner, ready for kids to go a bed. You may see people again later but very unlikely.

Whilst Steve cooks dinner I work on the Computer and Taylor uses the Wii Fit, she is very good at the Hula Hooping, especially as she is only 4 she does nearly as well as me! Shame on me!!

So as the evening draws in the children have been bathed again and are now tucke up in bed and Steve and I can sort of relax. Tonight we are going to start by waiting Criminal Minds on Surf the Channel, as we can only get limited television in the area we rely on the computer to watch television. This can be very frustrating as the connection in the area is not brillant and it keeps buffing, bu you become very patient when you have not much else to do.

Then we will spend some time on the Wii, time slips away from us when play the Wii you get so involved and Steve and I are very competitive!

See ya tomorrow

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Diary - Day One

Was not sure where to start today, so I thought I would give you an insight into my family.

We are a family of 4, there is myself, Tracy aged 35, my husband, Steve aged 34 and our 2 children, Taylor aged 4 and Casey aged 2.

My husband Steve had 2 brothers, sadly, his twin brother died in 1993 shortly after Steve and I meet in a car crash, which Steve walked away unhurted by Neil died.

His other brother, Lee is 40 years old and lives in Derby with his wife and 3 children.

My husband sadly lost his mum in 1995 to Spinal Cancer which she orginally had when she was pregnant with Lee and overcome this, although it left her disabled. Steve and Neil were later born by IVF. Steve's mum was a very caring and gentle woman who I feel very fortunate enough to have known, but the death of Neil broke her heart and she never recover from the tradegy.

Steve's dad lived locally until his death in October 2008 to Bowel Cancer, he lived with his long term partner Coral and was with her for 30 years. Steve and his dad were very close during Steve's adult life and the shock of his death hit him hard.

As a family we are very close to Coral and her family and consider her as part of our family, so in this blogg Coral is referred to as my mother-in-law. Coral and her family have been wonderfully supportive of our situation although we kept almost all the situation from her due to my father-in-law's illness, we felt they had enough to deal with.

Steve's only other remaining close relative is his grandfather who was 95 years old this year. He too, lives close by.

I come from a family of 4, I have one sister, Samantha aged 33 years old who is married and has two children, Luke aged 4 and Daniel aged 2 and they live in High Wycombe.

Both my parents are alive and live in Waltham Abbey and have been married for 38 years.

I have a large extended family and my dad is one of 12 brother and sisters and I am one of approximately 25 cousins. _____________________________________________________________________

Sunday, 12 April 2009


The day started late today, the children had slept in with Steve so I could have a lay in, slept to 8.30am, woohoo!!!

The kids and Steve were up at 6.30am and by the time got up the bed was away and the kids were having breakfast.

Off to my mum and dad's today, so won't spend much time at the Shelter today.

Rushed around and got ready, have to work around the other family we share the bathroom with, but Donna was on her own today so it was not too bad.

Got the kids ready and Casey was straight out the front door with his ball to play. As long as you can see him he is very safe. No cars are allowed around the back of the Shelter unless they are working on site. Taylor follows suit on her bike.

Taylor and Casey have a few things to play with like a bike, scooter and balls, but with very little space you cannot have many toys for them.

So off we go, cannot forget to sign in, so looking like the bag people we leave it our black bag of washing which my mum does for us, sign in for morning and off we go!

Finally we are all in the car, after having to go and retreive Casey, who refuses to move!

On route to my mum and dad's Taylor sits and read a Mr Men's book she has found in the car and its great to hear her making up her little stories as we drive. Waltham Abbey is about 5 miles from North Weald, so not far.

Arriving at mum and dad's, Casey goes crazy when he realises where we are and cannot wait to get out of the car and Taylor is gone before you have a chance to say anything.

Inside the children are given the Easter gifts, although they get a couple of eggs from other people, mum and dad and us always give them gifts. So this year, we brought Taylor a new chinning bar to practise her gymnastics on and Casey his first skates.

Mum and Dad brought Casey a Scooter (he also got a large ride-on trucker for his birthday which was part of his easter gift) and Taylor a bag, hat and suit for her dolly. Yes, my parents spoil them!!!

Casey spends time on his skates and is falling everywhere, while Taylor sits and does some cross-stitch and drawing on the DS Lite.

The day flies by and before we know its time to go! We leave about 7pm and off we go back home, if that is what you call it! By the time we get home the kids are asleep and we transfer them straight to bed, peace and quiet, not much to do now though, so start writing this blogg in-between playing on the Wii/Wii Fit, this is the thing that keeps Steve and I sane, its something to do and its fun.

When we were told we were going to be put it in the Shelter we were advised by the Council not to take anything expensive with us, so armed with only necessarities we put everything else into storage with friends and family. So everyone else has DVD players, all computer consoles and mode cons with them and we have nothing. So we got a Wii, got to pay for it yet, but its something to do and it gives us a bit of light relieve from everything.

So as we have not spent much time in the Shelter today I thought I would use this to give you some more information on the Shelter.

The Shelter consists of a large brick house which is a real eye-sore and the locals hate it. Many years ago Steve and I were looking at buying a house in North Weald and we were told constantly by the local not to look at that end of the village due to the Shelter as there is nothing but trouble.

In the last 7 weeks there has been no trouble at all, the Shelter is quiet day and night. During the day you will find mum sitting outside or in each others rooms whilst the infants play and during the evening no-one is about and the Shelter is deserted outside.

But at the end of the day, if we had not had the unpleasant experience of living here our opinion would not have change, we would have continued to believe the gossip.

The first day Steve and I went down the Shelter to have a look prior to becoming a resident. Approaching the site was frightening, you hoped no-one was behind you in the car or you don't have to stop to let on-coming traffic pass, cos you then know they know where you are going!! I still feel the same now and I don't think this feeling will every pass.

I remember pulling up in the car park and the place looked deserted. We wandered around the site to see if we could look around, but no-one was around and we came to our own conclusion, we just wanted to run and never turn back!!!! On the way home all I could do was cry!

So I am going to leave it at that today and I will see you again tomorrow.

Again, I attached a list of the sites I am promoting.

http://proconsumerguide.com - The site with the article on

http://taybelle15.thebestbizreview.com/ http://taybelle15.bezoogle.com/pp/adware/ http://taybelle15.bezoogle.com/pp/anti-spyware/ http://taybelle15.bezoogle.com/pp/anti-virus/ http://taybelle15.bezoogle.com/pp/auto-bargains/ http://taybelle15.bezoogle.com/pp/detective/ http://taybelle15.bezoogle.com/pp/dog-training/ http://taybelle15.bezoogle.com/pp/dvd-copy/ http://taybelle15.bezoogle.com/pp/games/ http://taybelle15.bezoogle.com/pp/popup-blocker/ http://taybelle15.bezoogle.com/pp/registry/






Saturday, 11 April 2009

Our life and how we ended in up in a Homeless Shelter

Before I start, I think it is important to let you know how my family and I ended where we are today. So to begin with I will need to take you back to the beginning of what we thought would be a lovely year, January 2007.

January 2007 started wonderfully with the birth of my second child, a baby boy, Casey, weighing 6lbs 11oz. He was completing our family. Shortly after his birth I developed Post-Natal Depression but we were determined to go on with all the plans we had made.

We had so many hopes and dreams and we started by putting our home up for sale and finding a place to rent in a lovely village on the borders of Essex/Hertfordshire in Sawbridgeworth. We were unsure what we were going to do, but we had mapped out two plans. One was to start a new life in Sawbridgeworth and build our own home and the other was emigrating to Australia and start a new and exciting life with our small children. But on the 22nd August 2007 everything changed. We had sold our house and I had started to recover from my post-natal depression. The morning of 22nd, August 2007 I had decided to take the children to a play centre near Sawbridgeworth and hurried around getting everything ready. I had also being cooking that morning, but had removed the pan from the stove ready to leave.

Before leaving I transferred all Casey changing things into another bag and left the changing bag on the side in the kitchen. Ushering my daughter out of the house I gave no thought to if I had turned the hob off!


Four hours later, with two tired children a sleep in the car I returned home. From outside the house everything looked fine, but on opening the door and stepping inside, the house with engulfed in smoke. I quickly left and phoned the Fire Department. Whilst waiting I informed my husband who came home immediately from work together with my parents.

We had nothing! We had spoken to our insurance company who had given us permission to buy clothes and a couple of days later we met with the Loss Adjuster. At this stage we were living at my parents.

The Loss Adjuster signed everything off and arranged for Chemdry to come in and clear the house out. Nearly all our belongings had been written off, thankfully a lot of things were boxed away and could be saved, together with belongings in the loft.

One week later we moved into our rental property in Sawbridgeworth with nothing but a portable television and blow up beds, but things were going to be fine!!!

Sadly, events had caused my depression to return.

Everything went smoothly and Chemdry carried out all the necessary work on the house and all our personal belongings were replaced.

From the fire the only area which we could not claim for was a small business I ran from home. I had recently cancelled my insurance due to moving, so there was nothing I could do. We had recently purchased items for an exhibition I was going to the following week so we lost the lot!

Once we had access to our home again we started to move things back in slowly over a period as the sale of the house had not gone through. One Sunday during October 2007, my daughter and I went round the house to drop things off and collect the post. We were in a hurry and whilst I was waiting outside my daughter rushed upstairs to the toilet.

She came back down and we left returning home to Sawbridgeworth. The following day we were out shopping when we received a phone call from our Estate Agent informing us that the Post Office had contacted them and water was cascading out of our windows of home and they were going round there immediately to turn the mains off.

Obviously. We just left everything and rush to the house, on arriving we meet with the Estate Agent and on entering the house found that the plug was in the bathroom sink, so our daughter had washed her hands and left the plug in and the water running. The house was in completely ruined and the ceiling has started to collapse.

All we could do was collapse in tears through the shock. Again my dad came home from work to take the children whilst we spoke with our Insurers. They were very helpful and arrange for Chemdry to come round again, in the meantime we started the painstaking job of clearing out our home again and removing the carpets. But this process could not be started for 24 hours and Chemdry could not come for 72 hours.

When the carpets were removed all the water between the floors and the carpets started to seep through the ceiling causing the ceilings to collapse altogether.

The following weeks were hectic helping Chemdry with the drying out of the house and most of the internal walls downstairs had to be stripped down to the rafters and the hall down to the breezeblocks. The work was gruelling but the Insurance Company were investigating the damage and the items lost, which was to a value £20,000 in personal effects we had to get on with the work due to the house sale and we tried to keep costs at a minimum.

An retired work colleague, myself and my husband worked day in day out to get the house ready for the builders under the advisement of Chemdry with electricity being fed in from neighbouring houses as the only electric in the house was to run the generators to dry the house out, but we were not being defeated, were going to get through this nightmare.

Sadly, just before Christmas we were informed by our Insurance Company they would not pay out, due to the proximity of the two incidents and we were left with a very large bill to pay and no way to pay for it.

All over Christmas and the New Year we just sat in pieces not knowing what to do, or, more like trying to ignore the inevitable , Bankruptcy! We had replaced a number of the items we lost in the flood and were still waiting to hear about the contents payout.

The sale of the house went through smoothly in the end, at a reduced price which allowed us to pay off the debt from the business and our credit cards for the replacement of the lost items, but we were still left with the bill for the work on the house which we just could not afford.

At the time of this all happening I was off of work due to my post-natal depression, in no state to return still, I agreed to take ill-health redundancy which helped us pay our rent for a short period, but in the end we had to declare ourselves bankrupt in April 2008. People said it would be a weight off our shoulders, but things just got worst, with no income from me and my husband working shifts it was not in my interest to find work as it cost so much in childcare costs we would not have much left.

In the end my parents helped us pay our rent to the end of our contract and we rented a property back in Waltham Abbey. We still could not afford our rent, but with my parents and family close by and their help with the rent it took some pressure off us. But the inevitable was just around the corner!

During this time we were advise that the Insurance Company would not pay out for the contents lost, but we had accepted this already!

Sadly, at the end of our October we lost my father in law to Bowel Cancer, which was unexpected and we thought things just could not get worst, but again, we were wrong!

Christmas and the New Year come and went almost unnoticed and my husband’s overtime completely disappeared and things just got tougher. As a printer, overtime is relied on to bring in a good wage and as this had disappeared we decided that we could not rely on my parents to pay our rent anymore, it was not fair.

At this time we were advised to contact the Council and a meeting was arranged. The first avenue looked at was the Council helping us with a deposit on a new place, as the place we were renting the owner was moving back in. They calculated how much help we were entitled to from the Council, which was not much, as my husband was classed “as a high earner”, with no overtime he earns £24,000 per annum!

So after looking at the cost of the average rental, even a 2/3 bed apartment we still could not reach to cover all the bills etc. We would not mind but all bills were only household bills and a small bit for clothes, it did not include going out once in a while!

The next thing we had to do with apply for a special request for help with the downfall in our expenses for January, this done and dusted we thought at least that will help us out for February, but we then were informed that the Discrepancy Payments would take months to come through! Doesn’t figure, how is it meant to help you with a shortfall in payments you have at that time, but you won’t hear from months!!!!

In the end we were given a Homeless appointment, after they agreed due to the bankruptcy etc we could not go down the normal route of being evicted, so they started to investigate our claim and in the meantime we would be placed in Norway House, North Weald at the end of February.

So now, 7 weeks on we are in Norway House living in a small two bed chalet with shared kitchen and toilet. The facilities are clean and thankfully as we are in the chalet we have a proper oven. If we had decided to take a room in the main house we would have 2 rings to share with another family and no oven.

Norway House, was given to the UK by Norway during the war and was then past to Epping Forest Council to house homeless people and families.

The people are lovely here and they all have a sad story to tell, some worst than others, but we are all looking for the same outcome, a home!

Our children have a room each and my husband and I sleep on the floor on our mattress as there is no room for our bed. We have very little TV courage and the computer works very slow, so we have very little to do here, the children play outside with the other children and they have a playground and an indoor play area.

The home was award lottery money some year’s back which allows them to run a mother and toddler morning twice a week in-house.

You have to sign in, twice a day due to previous tenants booking in and then going to stay with family or in a hotel and using the homeless route as a way to get a Council House. The children have to stay with you nearly all the time, so cannot say at their grandparents at the weekends, because they could ask you to leave if the children are not seen on the premises as it shows you have somewhere else to go. The Council will do anything not help you.

No one is allowed on the site who is not a resident after 10.30pm and the rules are strict and if you do anything wrong you have 2 warnings and you are out!

The Council have just written to us to inform us that they agree we are homeless and we now have 3 months before we can bid on a Council House. When you start bidding you can bid on 2 properties, twice a month for two months and if you are not awarded a property during this period you are allocated one by the Council, you have no choice, which could be anywhere in the Epping Forest. We have been informed by other residents when we are in, what is called Band 1 in 3 months time we are not given priority we are competing with people who have been on the Council list for years. Even though they are currently renting privately they have the same rights as us, who are homeless! To top it off, you don’t even get to see the property prior to moving in!

So all in, we are looking at approximately 7 months minimum in Norway House, which is like a prison sentence. You are living in each other’s pockets, you need permission to go on holiday or to stay away overnight and there is nothing to do!

We hope to save some money whilst in here, but it is not easy. You still have to pay rent, which I expect nothing less, you are not entitled to any help from the Council as the government state you can afford to leave on £230 a week. Not sure how they come to that conclusion as the average rent in the South East is £250 a week with no bills!!!! But they are sitting in their ivory towers earning more than that an hour, so what would they know!

Life is tough and not a day goes by, without tears and a reflection on what we have lost or what our life would be like if I had not left the gas hob on that day or had checked the water that morning, but there is no turning back the clocks, at least all my family are safe and we have survived this together.

We would still love to emigrate to Australia, but with my husband turning 35 in June we will lost 5 points which takes us to 115 points which is below the 120 points required, but we could still go through the State Sponsorship avenue if we can get some money behind us.

Last week my dear friend who helped us round the house came round with a website about working from home and they had researched a number of websites and concluded only 2 of the sites researched were reputable. He then ordered the course for one of the work from home systems, which is an in depth online marketing course by Profit Lance. The course is very resourceful, it does not offer great riches immediately it teaches you what you need to do, to be successful as an online marketer. You are given a number of preloaded websites to get you started (sadly in my case I am unable to get started due to the lack of money to do the pay per click with these sites), but I have started a BLOG!!! as advised. Never looked at Blogs or Myspace before and never had an interest, but I have nothing to lose have I! There are many other ideas as well, together with some great e-books included. The cost is $77 and is great value. Thank you Dave.

If you are a mother at home with small children or just wish to get out of the rat race and would like to generate an income just give it a look, I will put my website at the end of this blog, together with the site for the article written by pro-consumer, they have a great money back guarantee valid for 8 weeks.

This is our final chance to follow our dream, as I sit at my computer and type this Blog I can see my children running around playing with their dad and their smiling faces, I know I have to give it a try for them.

I have lost all faith in this country, it has been a fight just to be entitled to have a roof over our heads and then just one some mistake and you could be thrown out of Norway House with nothing! The council do everything possible to not help you and you are made to feel you are worth nothing, even when it is not your fault!! I know they have had a lot of people who did not need help, but we are not all the same and I would do anything not to have my family in this place, god help me, we have tried everything!

Finally after being with my now husband for 16 years, we cannot get any lower and I don’t think anything else can happen to us. We have been through everything, the loss of my husband’s twin brother, mother and father, an accident that nearly killed my father, the loss of both my grandparents shortly after my daughter was born, the loss of our home, personal belongings, bankruptcy and finally being made homeless. All I can say is, the only way is up!!

So the idea of this blog was to let you know my family's story, to get across my websites (I differently do not beg) and to start a daily diary of our life here (may not always be exciting) up until we leave. So that will start tomorrow.